Confirming Pregnancy

Okay so I am just going to pick up where I left off!

After first assessing the possibility that I am now pregnant we sit down and stare blankly at the TV as if we are actually watching it. Nope not at all... my mind is racing. Matt has now sent Stacy to the store to get a few more pregnancy tests, you know to "double check." I am texting my best friend Staci Turbeville, I really need someone to lean on and I know I need to get this out to her. She is not responding. I have sent three texts, where are you? what are you doing? Staci please, I need you now. No answer. Stacy Farlow my roommate gets back and hands me the test, Matt looks at her as if thanking her in silence. I have three tests in my hand. I will take two more tonight and wait and take the third in the morning. I take the next two, they are both the digital tests. They automatically within thirty seconds or so say pregnant. I know now that this is real, the doctors will just confirm it. Matt doesn't even look at me, he looks through me. I feel like I have let him down, I mean in reality we have known each other maybe a year and have been dating for less than two months. Just last week in the car we were driving to his parents I can remember us laughing and him saying "What more could I need? I have a great job and a beautiful girl friend... life is set. I am glad we aren't like so and so who is having a baby..." I remember thinking yes, not right now, Thank God. Ha, isn't that funny... I was pregnant when he said all those things. As I am in the middle of thinking my phone rings it is a text from Staci... and I am like WHAT? Her text says "Are you singing to me?" UHM NO I AM NOT SINGING TO YOU, I WANTED TO HIT HER... (i love you staci... :) I call her, no I am not singing... Staci I am pregnant. I hear on the other end of the phone a sharp intake of breath and she says really... yes really. I am getting aggravated but its because I am so upset. Finally as that is cleared up I get off the phone as we commence to saying that we will discuss it further after I go to the doctor in the morning to prove that I am.
Its now time for bed. Matt has work in the morning and I will face the OB and get a pregnancy test. Matt and I cling to each other for a few minutes talking about everything. I remember him telling me over and over it will be okay. We will figure this out... I mean you might not really be. I am like really? You still think that, wow I am definitely pregnant... three tests already!
Morning comes, Matt wakes up and gets in the shower. I always wake up about this time and just lay there until he leaves. But this morning is different... I have to take the last test. The paper does say the morning urine is best to test. I go into the bathroom and tell him what I am doing. I sit there for a few seconds while the test displays another automatic pregnant and I tell him this is real. To the doctor I go. I must wait a agonizing 2 hours until I can even call the OB and ask what I do next.
The OB nurse on the line sounds over joyed like she loves her job, she sounds content with telling me it is $17 for a pregnancy test and they will determine when my due date is if they confirm the pregnancy. I say when can I come in and she tells me anytime. I leave as early as possible and go up to Thomasville OB. Their staff is always so nice and accommodating but today I don't feel like this is helping. I have never had to experience this before. As I am called back I remember going through to the left side, the nurse asks for a urine sample and I immediately go get one. I give her the sample and she shows me to a chair she would like me to wait in until they are ready with the results.
Now starts the tremors and the anxiety again, could it be? I know I am but I am rooting for the no, but now I have mixed feelings... am I rooting for the yes too? I remember gently caressing my belly and softly saying, "are you really in there?" This reaction surprises me and I immediately draw back. Of course I want kids... Of course but now? The nurse comes back and she says so it is positive and we would say you are 4+ weeks. I draw in a large sum of air, breathing sharply. I fight off the panic attack and smile as politely as I can at the nurse. She calculates my due date... August 17th. I am sent home with a appointment in two weeks to confirm the due date yet again and to start my blood tests and the usual pregnancy mumbo jumbo.
I practically run to the car and pick up my phone, I dial Matt and tell him that I am really pregnant. I tell him the due date and a few other things and I really don't get much of a reply. Just a few uh huhs and okays. The last thing was we will discuss it when we get home.


Again, I will continue when I have the time. I hope you are enjoying my blog so far. Have any questions, concerns or comments. You can leave them at the bottom of the page. I have Math home work to get too.