After the genetic appointment we were told we were going day by day with son and he could pass away at anytime. I was constantly reminded of my rights to termination and that no one would blame me, what about me?.. wouldn't I blame me? This actually never crossed my mind as a choice though because I knew for me that it was wrong and my son deserved every chance in the world.
I never doubted my son, I never once made preparations or thought this could be it. I cried a lot because it was hard but I just knew that he was coming home. I did not care how long he had to be in the hospital I knew he was coming home. I was dead wrong... more wrong than I ever thought I could be.
The support that I received through the next few weeks was amazing. My mom was there everyday telling me it was going to be okay. The prayer chains that were started was astonishing. I received messages from people telling me their churches were praying for my unborn son and I truly felt nothing could go wrong. My family loved my baby and they never gave up on him either... it was amazing. No one believed it was possible to lose him... we were all in such denial.
The only thing wrong was Matt and I couldn't get a long; long enough to show each other why we were really upset. I couldn't understand him and he seemed to not even care to understand me. We were broken and so was our relationship. From friends to lovers to enemies as fast as we first said hello. It was the shortest and most stressful relationship I have ever been in. In those weeks that passed we grew further and further apart and yet our love for our son just grew.
to be continued...
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